Be Your Own Best Friend
 When you find yourself feeling like a failure because
something hasn't gone to plan or you feel that you have
not done something as well as you could have, it is all
too easy to be harsh with yourself, put yourself down
and be overly critical. When this happens, there
is a great technique for changing the way you feel by
changing your perspective and that is by 'being your own
best friend'.
Imagine for
a moment that your best friend was in the very same
situation or circumstances as you are right this minute.
If they called round for a cuppa and a shoulder to cry
on, how would you react to them? Chances are, you
would not sit there and tell them that they were a total
failure, stupid or start criticising their actions - if
you did you may not have them as a friend for long!
Instead, you would tell them not to worry, talk them
through their problems and help them be positive about
what actions they should take next.
Now put
yourself in that friends place - imagine you were
sitting opposite yourself as a friend would and
listening to you instead of another person.
Imagine that you were your own best friend - what would
be different about the way you speak to yourself now?
Here are some tips to help you be kinder to yourself and
start treating yourself with the same kindness as you
would to others you are close to:
-
Give
yourself the same level of respect. We expect
others to respect us and we respect others so why
does this stop when it comes to ourselves. The
first step to accepting and loving yourself is total
self respect.
-
Next
time you start to put yourself down, stop and ask
yourself if you would say the same things to your
best friend. Then turn this negative self talk
into some positive reinforcement.
-
Congratulate yourself. When you do something
well, give yourself a pat on the back just like you
would someone else and when you are aiming for a
goal in life, give yourself the same level of
encouragement to achieve whatever you set out to do.
-
Be more
tolerant of yourself. Others aren't perfect
and we don't worry about their flaws so start being
more tolerant of your own - we are all human after
all!
-
Focus on
the positive. When we enjoy spending time with
our friends, we concentrate on their positive traits
- a good sense of humour, warmth, kindness, their
ability to listen and support us.
-
Stop the
constant criticism. Like it or not, we
are what we are and whatever that is right now is
enough. Stop worrying that you are not perfect
and start focussing on what is great about you and
your life right now.
-
If you
find yourself constantly putting yourself down,
start keeping a note of your self talk and take some
time each day to consider the advice you would give
your best friend and start applying it to yourself.
Being your
own best friend does take a little practice but the
benefits to your self esteem are more than worth it!
Useful
Resources:
Personal Power for
women
Isn't it
time you put yourself first?
Personal Power for
women is a powerful 6 week course to help you clear your
baggage and dramatically reclaim your life.
50 Ways to Build Self Esteem
A
step-by-step plan for happiness and fulfilment.
Change your beliefs, switch on those good feelings about
yourself and take control of your life. |
